i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
