She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
