My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
