Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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