absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We were destined to go to rehab together
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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