your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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