i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
home. puking in laundry basket.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
