so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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