She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
