Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
