It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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