I bet he comes in French.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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