You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
