Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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