Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
