my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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