i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
