I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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