i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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