The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
