he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
