I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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