Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
