trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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