so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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