my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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