Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
