dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
