He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
