Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
