Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
