ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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