how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
