Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
