The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
