My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
