You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
