Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I believe in your delicious
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
