i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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