I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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