You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
