Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
