I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
