Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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