I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
