just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
