We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
