Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
