I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
