Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
