Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
