And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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