So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
