So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
