i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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